“Winter” has officially ended in the country of Saudi Arabia and I must admit that I am slightly nervous for the infamous heat that I know is headed our way. The last two weeks have been my favorite so far in this desert country. I started work and am loving being on the teaching side of the education spectrum. Seven and half years of life in college-level academia and I still love feeling like I have learned something new; and in this case, taught something new.
Through casual conversation with people on my compound and other workers, I know that the desert is often a weekend getaway for people here. Last week I was invited for a day trip to the “barr” (desert). The woman that called to invite me asked if I wanted to go to the “Sahara” for a visit. After a friend pointed out that the Sahara is in Africa, I quickly hopped on Google and searched the layout in comparison to where I am in Riyadh. The next day I showed with my back packed and realized very soon that the Sahara wasn’t exactly our destination, rather it was a much closer venture into the abyss; I’m just going to chalk that one up to language barrier.
I was surprised to see the desert flooded with people, motorbikes, tents, and food. In my head I was fully expecting the scene of a single man with his white shirt tied messily around his head in a sign of surrender and exhaustion, walking endless miles through scorching heat; at this point though, I know enough to realize that my imagination sometimes runs away from me. After driving past a cluster of people sprawled out across the sandy land and past one viewing of roughly 16 camels cruising along the side of the road, we arrived at our own secluded oasis. Three large tents lined the perimeter of our area. Two had cots in them for sleeping and the other was filled to the brim with the colors of Arabia. If you’ve read either of the last two blogs, you know that I have commented on how beige this land is; the houses, the ground, the buildings, even the plants are covered in a layer of beige dust. This particular tent was lined with bright yellow fabric with huge pink flowers adorning it. There were cushions of deep burgundy with a white paisley pattern scattered across them. The sand was covered in oriental rugs of dark greens and blues. I was overwhelmed with excitement at the site of it. This is the Arabia that I had in my head.
I soon realized that the women were disrobing from their abayas and letting them fall to the wayside. Women are allowed to wear their own clothes in this space. While men and women’s campsites are still separate from each other, this sense of freedom was very obvious. Additionally, women are also allowed to drive in the desert. Waiting for us upon arrival, were two 4-wheel drive SUV’s ready for the taking. I hopped in and headed out. Driving over the limitless dunes I couldn’t help but wish that everyone I know could see this site, because no picture that I have previously seen has ever done it justice. Have you ever looked out upon the ocean and felt as though sun was about to drop into the water? You try your hardest to look beyond the sea and horizon for some sign of land, but it just doesn’t come. The same applies to the desert. Never have I seen such a sunset. The sand was orange, and I learned from a native that the farther from the coast, the more orange the sand gets. Looking out at the distance there wasn’t a single plant, just miles and miles of rolling sand hills that never seemed to end. As the sun bounced down, I realized that the temperature was bouncing down with it. I was warned that it gets very at cold at night in the desert. Having been wearing short sleeve shirts this “winter”, I wasn’t exactly convinced until that moment.
After returning to our site, we started a fire and roasted some chestnuts. It was around this time that the real learning experience for me began. I was accompanying 4 girls on this trip, between the ages of 18 and 20; all indigenous to Saudi Arabia. This was my opportunity to engage in true conversation about the perspective, ideologies, and lifestyles of the modern Saudi woman. The four young ladies, all of whom are currently in college, afforded me the chance to ask the questions, and responded with intelligent and enlightening perspectives. We talked about the impact of 9/11 on the Saudi culture, love and dating, marriage, women’s rights and issues, Muslim teachings, Islam culture, Osama Bin Laden, education, and the king, along with his predecessors and successors. I was mentally exhausted for two days after this trip. Initially, I was worried about stepping on toes, but the issues were welcomed topics.
After asking about the difference in the way that they have been treated in the states (all of them are well travelled) since September 11, 2001, I asked what they would like Americans to think about the 15 Saudi men that steered planes into our towers and into the dirt in Pennsylvania. Without hesitance, I heard “How would Americans feel if 15 of your countrymen bombed Mecca (the most holy place in Saudi) and it forever changed the way that your culture, your religion, and your people would be treated around the world?” I had nothing to say, she was perfectly right. They went on to share that the true teachings of Islam denounce violence as a means to reach an answer. She noted that those men were no longer residing in Saudi when the attack happened because they had been previously exiled due to their extremist nature. Osama Bin Laden comes from a family here that makes the cloth which covers the holiest prayer site in the country. His family had banished him in the years previous for misuse of the Muslim beliefs. The girls told me that after the attack, they had to change their company name because Muslims did not want to be associated with his kind of evil, belief system, and tactics.
They told me that the Quran has been mistakenly interpreted by many and that it is about how it is taught that can make the difference between being a true Muslim and one that has not grasped the religion in its holy nature. I was told that Muslims are taught the religion all throughout school because it’s a complicated piece of text that needs to be scrutinized and explained.
We went on to talk about love and dating in this fascinating culture. Dating is more something along the lines of engaging in frequent telephone conversations and learning to build a mutual respect that sex and affection does not play a part of. For my western eyes, I was exceptionally curious as to how love can blossom without including the physical aspect or at least frequent interpersonal interaction. One of the young ladies told me that she was always told to marry someone that she could fall in love with, not necessarily someone that she was in love with. She explained that love is blinding (as well have all heard) and that the ability to think about someone’s morals, character, beliefs, attitudes, and treatment of you needs to be first assessed from an objective point of view. With this impartial standpoint you can more easily and clearly assess the type of man that you are choosing to be with. In fact, one of the young ladies has no desire to be married at all. I soon learned that this is not a traditional lifestyle choice for a woman in Saudi; however she reported that her family is aware and supportive of her decision.
Contrary to popular belief, being forced into marriage is not something condoned in the Quran. In fact, it is written as blatantly wrong. This notion about women having their husbands picked by their fathers is an “old school” tradition and cultural experience. One thing about this world of love and marriage that particularly caught my attention is that fact the women do not change their last name upon marriage. While Saudi women do not change their name in order to preserve lineage, in the United States women are working this topic from a much different angle. My generation of women is waging a battle against this traditional concept. Typically, the crusades that we encounter were started in previous generations and often grows stronger with time; equal rights, equal pay, equal marriage opportunity, the list goes on. The idea of keeping your own last name is virtually something new to my country (relatively speaking of course) although it is piggy-backed off the idea of personal independence. Just as men claim identity in their name, women do the same; although the Saudi tradition has different roots. A resident lady told me that she would never want to change her last name (aside from her culture’s tradition), because it forever linked her to her family and to who she has been all her life. This ideology is eerily similar to my thought process and the process of countless women in today’s modern, western society.
Among the top list of questions that I get about this experience, the issue of women’s rights in this country ranks among the most frequent. Having discussed women wearing abayas and being covered from head to toe, not being allowed to drive or generally sit in the front seat of a car, not being allowed to own property or open a bank account are among some of the things that I have talked about. From what I am told, women here are slowly working their way through the system of tradition to find a cultural balance between rights and tradition. An important thing to note is that in this culture, tradition trumps most other things; including personal beliefs about what people should and should not be allowed to do. Saudi is a unique culture, in that they do not want to be skewed by popular opinion or trend, possibly explaining the lack of argument about the restrictions placed on them. Although I know from conversation in America that we tend to assume that it is about mental and physical control.
Although all of this information was educational, I think it is important to note that it has come from a relatively small group of women. I’m hoping that as my time here extends, so will my sources. It will be interesting to see if other groups of ladies share the same liberated concepts and have the same understanding and acceptance of tradition.
I wish I could have recorded all of the conversations that have happened about these important subjects and topics since starting my time here. Aside from the fact that it would slightly odd to walk around with a recorder all day long, this society is ferociously private and not a fan of display, which includes being a part of pictures or giving loads of personal information to the world.
More to come! (videos will be loaded shortly...if I can figure that out)
